Heroine
by Readergirl37
Summary: Looks into Elena's life using other heroine's mottos and quotes. Slight Elijah/Elena
1. Katniss Everdeen

AN: I just got inspired when listening to Lorde and this came out.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

The quote for this chapter is "I give myself a series of simple commands to follow, like "Now you have to sit up, Katniss. Now you have to drink water, Katniss." I act on the orders with slow, robotic motions."

She's on autopilot the entire day, she's done it so often.

The bell rings, and she reminds herself that means she has to go to her next class. She honestly couldn't tell anyone, even if they asked, where the hell she was going. BUt her body knew. Her mind knew too, there was just some disconnect.

She hands in homework, she smiles and follows the voice in her head, _move over, Elena. You have to go to lunch now, Elena._

Even when she's driving. It's still barely registering to her, the voice in her head keeps her mind from floating away. She opens the door, and closes it. She walks up the stairs, the voice counts as she does, and she does her homework. She eats dinner, she talks. All automatic. When she sees someone sitting on her window seat, she blinks.

She's been jolted out of autopilot, torn off the road-the voice has no script for her Original ally. She sees something in his eyes that she almost would classify as concern if it were anyone else, but brushes it off. She needs to finish her math homework, the voice reminds her. He's about to say something, but the voice is familiar, so she follows her autopilot. She sits on her bed, working on math as she waits for him to speak, or perhaps she's forgotten him, he doesn't know. She seems far away, despite the few feet it would take for him to physically reach her.

"Elena." He drawls. He waits for her to acknowledge him, something is wrong. She looks up, confused. She hates being with him. It's not automatic, it's like pushing a car up a hill. Everyone else is easy, the things she needs to say are easy to script. Dealing with Elijah while on autopilot is like being thrown into the middle of a play without a script. On Broadway.

"Yeah?" She asks a minute later, he notices the delayed response. She can't explain, she's never explained it. She's never explained or told anyone about the autopilot setting for dealing with her day and the voice in her head because honestly she knows she would sound crazy, and it's too personal to tell anyone. Especially an Original vampire she'll only know until she dies in a sacrifice to kill his brother. She wants to keep her mouth shut, if she could see her brain as tabs on a browser, she's pretty sure the voice would be the one unresponsive one that insisted on being closed and restarted.

"I'm fine." She lies.


	2. Lia Overbrook

AN: This chapter is Lia from Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson. Also in this chapter, Elijah was never staked at the dinner party and Elena isn't with either Salvatore.

The quotes are: "This girl shivers and crawls under the covers with all her clothes on and falls into an overdue library book, a faerie story with rats and marrow and burning curses. The sentences build a fence around her, a Times Roman 10-point barricade, to keep the thorny voices in her head from getting too close." and "You're not dead, but you're not alive, either. You're a wintergirl, Lia-Lia, caught in between the worlds. You're a ghost with a beating heart."

She feels empty. Cold. Two things she tried so hard not to be. She barely notices anything, follows her routine. Food doesn't look appetizing, she's dying soon anyways, part of her wonders if trying to make her last moments count is futile or stupid or pointless. Probably all three, she decides as she follows Bonnie through the lunch line. She doesn't want to eat, she's not hungry, she she'd rather chew food than try to dodge questions, she feels so slow these days. She doesn't know really, if she's up for dying. She had always thought she would have time, timetimetime-it slipped through her fingers like steam. She wonders if she'll see her parents when she dies, if she'll have to feel the years she should have lived as she waits for her loved ones, Bonnie-Jeremy-Jenna-she's expecting and hoping Caroline will take a long time to get to her. She's in math before she even recognizes it, the routine of so long is automatic. She wonders if she'll be able to talk, and apologize, and see everyone. She wonders if heaven is a feeling after death or a place, with people and things to do. Her fragile mood shatters as she realizes she's driving home. What if she's not destined for heaven? She can't remember the last time they visited a church, she and Jeremy and Jenna- it was probably her parents funeral, she thinks distantly. Maybe she's doomed for hell. She's doomed, she knows she's doomed, she's always been doomed. She parks, grabbing her bag from the passenger seat, she'll write and confess all of her sins and thoughts into her diary before dinner-she'll put the diary under the heaviest things she owns to keep the secrets from leaking out and escaping. She opens her door and enters her house as she distantly sees someone in her driveway. She's by the stairs before she realizes it's Elijah. She wonders how old he is, how easily he's able to throw her life away because she wears the same face as Katherine. She wonders if he's ever felt doomed, and mentally shakes her head. Even then, he still has an aura of power and control thicker than armor. And all he's doing is standing on her front porch. She tries to not to ruin anything, one slip of her thoughts will damn her and ruin everything. Her leg shakes without her notice. Anxiety perhaps, she notes.

"I was wondering if you could accompany me." He says, looking relaxed. He's not coming in, it'd be so easy for him to do-he has an invitation. Words spill out as her mind goes too fast around the race track of her thoughts-she's going too fast. She's going to crash now. She's accepted it as she looks at his face.

"It's not a full moon tonight." He shakes his head.

"That is not what I wanted to show you, lovely Elena."

 _But I need to write in my journal, she thinks._

"You can take your journal if you wish, the journey is not too long." He says, and she blinks in confusion. She wonders if she said that. She wonders if there have been any other thoughts that have come out. She bites down on her tongue as she moves up the stairs and he enters her house. Especially about her occasional appreciation of his attractive features. She bites harder as she grabs her journal and pen. He's waiting for her, outside her room. They walk down the stairs together and he leaves first, and she locks the door when she crosses the threshold. He's looking at her expectantly and she walks to the passenger side of his car.

She looks less tense when she's writing, she's in the passenger seat, seat belt on. She writes so quickly he almost thinks she's a vampire, but she is not. She realizes her tongue and opens her mouth for a yawn. Elijah looks at her for a moment. He can smell the blood in her mouth, she realizes. She bites her lip as she fills the page before he leaves her street. All of the self destruction and secrets come out, released onto paper as they leave Mystic Falls. Her eyes widen and he assures her that she'll be back before dinner. She hasn't stopped writing, and he's a little impressed. He wonders if the journal mentions him before he tells himself to focus on the road. It's all out and Elena is trying to relieve the cramp in her hand as he parks. He can see the blood on her lip-she bit too hard. He would offer her blood, but knows she would likely reject it, and produces the key to the building.

It's a house, in the middle of almost nowhere. His house, she realizes.

"No one can overhear us here." He tells her, as she takes in her surroundings, still standing on the rug by the closed front door. He's pulling something out, she wants to make a remark about how she doesn't want one of her last memories to be reminiscing about times she's never seen-but her breath catches in her throat for some reason when he has a bottle in his hands. She can tell it's magic, she wonders what kind it is this time.

"There is a way for you to survive Klaus killing you, and this would not make you a vampire." He tells her, carefully passing the glass to her. She makes a noise and gives it back, she doesn't want to break it. She doesn't say anything until the potion or whatever it is-he hadn't told her-is back in a box. The tears start to leak out of her eyes without her permission, and he just stares at her with those, sage and ancient eyes of his.


	3. Allison Argent

AN: This is set in season three, again no love triangle. The quote for this chapter is "Don't frown Lydia, someone could be falling in love with your smile." -Allison Argent. Set at the ball, no Original mother, she's dead no coffin or magical preservation. I

She wonders if it's obvious. She has a stake in her pocket, in the carefully made pants she's wearing under her dress. She sewed the deep pockets herself, deciding that it'd be useful. Her right pocket has a vervain bomb. She feels like an idiot. But it's nice to have an insurance plan. Caroline knows, as they stand next to each other. Elijah is about to give a speech. Her heart jumps when she forgets her phone is in her back pocket, completely unreachable. Elijah looks at her then, and mentions dancing partners as he continues looking around. She wonders if she could just dance with Caroline, who evidently, is a little rusty on century old dances. But no, Elijah asks her to dance with him, and she agrees. She sends a silent apology to Caroline, who now has to fend for herself.

The music begins and she quietly confesses she has very little knowledge on how to do the particular dance he had mentioned a few minutes prior.

He just grins and tells her that she'll be fine. She smiles back, words she had heard somewhere echoing in her head-Don't frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile."

So she does. She smiles, because tonight isn't stressful and while she gets butterflies when she and Elijah are closer than usual-tonight won't be the night to press or prod or think about it. She just focuses on swapping partners, and she keeps smiling. Not because everything is right and perfect, but because there isn't much wrong. And it's cause for celebration.

She'll train tomorrow, and real life will weigh her down, but she smiles because she hasn't been this weightless in a while. As she swaps partners again, the smile grows when she realizes it's Elijah. She forgets about her weapons in her pockets, she just focuses on the music.

Tonight is not the night for serious, and she appreciates it, they move well together, dancing until the song ends. The dance changes, and she tells him she wants to dance with him again. He's not soft, and human. He's not vulnerable, and soft, and open like Matt was. Like a human would be. He's been hardened by centuries of life, a deadly and beautiful vampire, and she doesn't care he's not soft. She isn't either. They don't let go of each other after the next song ends. Or the one after that. The songs blur together.

And, she thinks, as the last song is playing, and they're one of the last pairs on the dance floor-that it might be okay. Another smile graces her lips. Elijah wonders if she knows he's falling in love with her and her smile.


	4. Natasha Romanov

AN: The quote for this chapter is:

 _But ethics isn't a science. Which is to say, you do your best… but that doesn't make you right._ From the Black Widow comics, Black Widow (2014) #2 (In this chapter, Elena never staked Elijah)

She tries. She tries to be good, and she goes for her first few years as a vampire without killing. Anyone or anything. She's had some of the oldest vampires in the world teach her, and yet-they're gone and she's in a large city, in an alley. She's feeding and she doesn't mean to, she's never even killed bugs, let alone a vampire. Or a human. But she hears it, and the heartbeat is gone. She took too much, she almost bites her wrist and shoves it into her victim's mouth, and the tears come quickly. She killed someone. Oh gods, she killed someone. They probably had a family, people who cared, and oh gods. She wants to throw up, and she carefully keeps the body upright because if they fall into the alley she's going to lose her shit and never recover, she _killed someone._

She carefully gets her phone out of her pocket, and dials Elijah's number, hoping he'll pick up, if not, she'll try anyone, she just needs someone to calm her down.

"Elena?" He asks. He answers on the first ring and she wonders for a split second if there are gods that listen to vampires because someone definitely heard her prayer.

"Elijah, can you come help me?" Her voice is shaking as much as she is. He answers of course, and he promises to be there as soon as he can, and she begs him not to hang up because if he does then she's alone with her thoughts and grief. So he tells her of his first kill. It wasn't very long after they had been made vampires. She knows it's supposed to make her feel better, but she chooses the company of killers, and now she's one of them and her throat is closing up. Elijah pauses, and tells her how proud he is that she made it this long. Every vampire killed at some point. And she didn't do it maliciously, like so many others. He keeps talking, he's being soothing and reassuring but not degrading, not from him, not that she'd take that. Not that she could stand that.

She's standing there, cracks in herself. She hopes she can mend herself before she shatters into so many pieces that no one will ever be able to put her back together again, like a vampire version of Humpty Dumpty. She finally lets all of her tears burst out, and he promises her as he hears her gasping breaths mixed with tears, that he will make sure the body is found. She worries about her DNA on the body, and he tells her not to worry, he's already thinking of the strings he needs to pull to accomplish that. He's there before she knows it, but it feels like it's been years not an hour and she carefully sets her victim down. She turns to him, blood drying on her chin. He carefully removes all of the blood with his handkerchief, if she sees the blood it might make things worse. She's trembling, and he pulls her against him, like he has so many times. Sometimes she just needed the sturdy embrace of someone who had survived so much. A reminder that she could do it too.

"I tried so hard." She whispers. He knows what she's talking about.

"Elena. It was an accident. We all make mistakes, some more deadly than others. Being good and ethical isn't automatically changed to evil and immoral. Just because you killed someone does not make you less than anyone else, worse than anyone else, or better. We all try to be good, some more than others, but not all things are ethically sound. Sometimes there isn't an ethical option. It's a mistake, one you will regret for a long time, but you cling to your humanity. You care. You do your best. You're still a good person, lovely Elena." He assures her.

"I took a life." She hisses.

"I am a terrible person. They had a family. And I took that away." She reminds him.

"And your victim could have died decades from now, or be in a crash tomorrow. All things die, everything has a time. Some have a longer time than others. I will help the family, if that will make you feel better." He offers. She moves her head into his neck and cries. Yes, she wants him to do that. But she knows what she did will not give back the life she stole.

She remembers Klaus's warning from a few weeks prior.

" _Elena. You and my brother like to be moral, live ethically. If you play the moral game too long, you're going to lose. We all do."_


	5. Buffy Summers

AN: The quote this chapter is: "The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it." From the Buffy the Vampire Slayer season five finale

She's not going to let Jeremy die. The spell that's about to be cast will kill both of them. She's thought and thought, and there's no loophole. No way around it. It requires both of them alive. So one of them has to die to stop it. So she takes out the vampire blood, courtesy of Elijah-from her pocket and downs it like it's a tequila shot. Jeremy has already lost too many people. She won't let him die, he wants to stay human. But she'll do anything for him, include change her mind about this, because she is his older sister and he needs her. So she'll be a vampire. She'll deal. Jeremy looks mournful.

"'Lena." He says and his voice cracks.

"I'll see you soon, okay Jer? I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Call Elijah. He'll take you someplace safe while I do this." She doesn't want him to see her death, she can't do that to him. He dials the number, about to open his mouth. She crushes him in a hug. His mouth closes.

"I love you, Jer. You're so brave. Jeremy, if I've learned anything from life, is that the hardest thing in this world-" She takes a deep breath.

"Is to live in it. Not just exist, but live and love and feel and experience it all. You've done so well." She finishes as she hears Elijah answer.

Elena explains the bare minimum, and Elijah appears and takes Jeremy before the explanation is over. Vampire speed is useful. Elena gets ready to face her death. Because, if she had to choose a death, this was what she wanted. Dying for someone she loved. It had meaning, and it was better than a senseless killing. And it wasn't a true death, anyway. She'd come back and it would be fine. She hasn't had as many opportunities as she would have liked, to really experience life. She supposes she'll have them as a vampire. It's going to be okay, it's okay, it's okayokayokayokayokay. The words all blend together as she thinks too quickly. She takes one of her last breaths as a human, she needs to be calm.

She steadies herself. She has a witch to face.


	6. Sansa Stark

AN: I love Sansa, I do, I love her with my entire heart, but it was a little tricky to find a quote for her. I might do two Sansa chapters. We'll see. The quote this chapter is: "She had always heard that love was a surer route to the people's loyalty than fear."

"You know, it's interesting. I've met very few people with such a long list of people willing to die for them. How do you do that?" Klaus answers, his breath on on her neck. She wants him to just kill her already, not wait and ask her stupid questions, she prays the elixir works. She closes her eyes, like if that will stop the fear coursing through her body. Klaus's grip on her feels like she's being touched by a boa constrictor made of metal. If she survives this, she will not tell anyone of the pain. They don't need to know. The fact she died will be enough.

"They love me." She says simply. He already has her neck bent, and she tries not to shiver. Had she known it would have been this cold the night she had to die, she would have worn a sweater. She misses the warmth of her home, where Jenna, Jeremy and Alaric, Tyler, Caroline, and Damon are trapped with a spell. She only wanted to protect them, after all.

"Yes, but love only goes so far." Klaus informs her. He wonders why so many people are willing to lay their lives down for this doppelganger.

"How do you do it?" He asks, wanting to know how a mere human girl could assemble such a group. He wants that knowledge, needs the power of it. He wants to be king, wants to know how to get loyalty and fear. If she weren't the doppelganger, he'd compel her to teach him her ways. Unfortunately, it'll all just have to come out before her death.

"I was always told that love was a surer route to people's loyalty than fear." She tells him quietly, and she can feel him nod-and then his fangs are in her neck. She tries to keep her composure, but the vampires watching can hear the little gasping noises she's making, and then the hiccuping noise, the little pained keens that make it past her teeth that she's gritting because she wants to die with dignity, damn it. And then, the noises stop. Her eyes become distant, Elijah watches, Klaus is assured of his brother's loyalty to him by this-and Stefan cannot move. Elena is glad that Katherine was sacrificed, she had caused so much pain and turmoil in all of their lives-she'll never be mistaken for Katherine again-her neck is at an awkward angle, forcing her to look at Katherine's corpse.

Katherine is dead, and she will not be-if the elixir works.

The two watching realize that Elena's stopped making noise because there isn't enough blood in her body to make any. The thought makes the Salvatore let out a pained noise, and Elijah carefully clenches his fist. She stares at his eyes as the light goes out of hers. He does not break the eye contact until she's thrown onto the ground, his brother licking his lips of her blood. She was loyal to him, Elijah recognizes. Her view on loyalty was extremely human. He could appreciate it. He couldn't say it worked, necessarily, but it was a beautiful sentiment nonetheless. He moves forward to do what he had promised. He pretends to not notice Elena's glassy, dead eyes as he does.


	7. Sansa Stark II

AN: I was right, I'm going to do two Sansa chapters and two Arya chapters. The quote this chapter is: "Brave. Sansa took a deep breath. _I am a Stark, yes, I can be brave."_ Man, the context of that hurts. Also, I changed the timeline because the Originals gave like no time to actually find anything for the ball, let's be honest.

* * *

She's terrified. She has to play nicely with the Originals, while wearing a ballgown. She wants to scream, they're all _absolutely terrifying._ One of them wants her for her blood and another wants her dead. She doesn't know what the other three want. Elijah had saved her from Rebekah, two days ago. They had talked, he's still someone she wouldn't want to cross. They caught up, she was careful. She doesn't trust herself with Elijah, he's too powerful and almost inhuman for her to want to kiss him. It's not right, she tells herself as she puts her earrings in. She's panicking, the night his mother returned-invitations were sent out. Elijah had asked her to talk with him, alone. He trusted his mother less than he trusts Niklaus, he had informed her. He wanted her to tell her what his mother told her, and she agrees, they even set up a code. She wants to ask what's next, what else could happen. His brother still wants her blood, his sister still wants her dead, his mother wants a meeting and his two undaggered brothers are wild cards in the supernatural card deck of her life.

She can't back out, Elijah is her ally, but he's also scary as hell. She takes a deep breath, as she prepares to walk out of her front door. She remembers a line from a book, something she read long ago.

" _Brave, yes, I can be brave."_ She repeats it, as she walks outside.

She repeats it as she enters the lion's den. One comfort is that, they most likely won't kill her. One of them needs her blood.

She walks in, aware that Damon can see her. He and Stefan _don't understand._ She has to come here, has to talk to Esther. Elijah reaches her before Damon does, thank goodness.

"Elena." He drawls.

"Elijah." She greets.

"I was hoping you could save me a dance." He informs her and she she nods in agreement.

"Of course." She agrees, and he points out Caroline and Klaus.

"We should walk over. I'm sure Caroline could use company, and my brother and I have to be in a specific place in a few minutes. My mother has been so meticulous, planning this with us." He tells Elena, who looks surprised.

"Thank you." She whispers, quietly enough for just him to hear with Original hearing. She's thankful he's keeping her away from the Salvatores, they can't do anything with this many people watching. They wouldn't dare. She spots Stefan, and a few unfamiliar faces as they walk, a few inches away from each other. She has to look at the face of the man who killed her for a moment. " _Brave, yes, I can be brave."_ She repeats, a layer of thought as she hears Elijah request that his brother join him. They need to be on the stairs in a minute.

"Thanks." Caroline says, as she pulls Elena into a quick hug. It's to prevent others from hearing it.

"No problem." She whispers back.

"You look amazing." Caroline compliments.

"So do you." Elena says, and the room falls silent as Elijah begins to toast. The Salvatores aren't being discreet, Klaus notes, as they try to make their way towards Caroline and Elena. Caroline's looped Elena's arm in hers. There's no way they can take her away or try whatever idiotic plan he's sure they have. Elijah has to go coordinate something, and he's pleasantly surprised when he sees Kol introduce himself to the girls. The Salvatores still can't touch either of them. Klaus is thankful for their small amount of common sense. Elijah moves toward Elena, and he decides to join his older brother.

Elena gives Caroline a reassuring squeeze as Klaus asks her to dance. She moves away from Elena, her elbow out of her friend's and Elijah asks her to dance. She agrees, and she reminds herself that she's doing great, she's being brave. Doing the brave thing. It's totally fine, Except it's not, she's sure Elijah can hear her heart, at this point she wonders if she just runs on adrenaline and fear, because that's what it feels like.

The centuries old waltz is a little complicated, but she's used to old dances. Caroline looks almost perfectly at ease, she's even better at these as Miss Mystic Falls. Caroline will be fine, she tells herself. She's warned that they're switching partners a few seconds before she's in unfamiliar arms. She continues dancing, he introduces himself as Finn Mikaelson.

He tells her to come see his mother after the first dance is over and she nods, because she doesn't know what else to do. She's back with Elijah, and she never thought she could actually miss the scarily composed Original, but there's a first time for everything, she supposes.

He knows, she knows he heard. He tells her where Finn is waiting for her, and he references their status as allies, in their code. She nods. Brave. She can do this. She her hands literally in an Original's. Her fate too, it seems. She excuses herself when the song ends, saying she needs water. He nods, and she walks to find Finn. He offers his arm, and she takes it, because there's no other option she can see. Elijah's relieved, he can see them walking. She's still safe from dealing with the Salvatores, she had confessed they were going to most likely be a problem. He had warned his siblings. It had paid off.

Finn opens the door, and Elena can smell something, like something was burned. Her confusion at this must show on her face, because Esther explains that it's sage. It prevents people from listening in to their conversation, magic of course. She dismisses Finn, and invites Elena to sit on one of the couches in the room. Elena does, a little uneasily. There's something that's a different type of terrifying from this woman. Her children could rip Elena apart in seconds, but she knows that. She's aware of what the other Mikaelsons can do. She's completely unsure of what Esther's capable of.

* * *

She listens and Esther talks, she carefully asks a few questions, and realizes Esther is way too powerful. Her throat almost closes up. Brave, she reminds herself. She has to be brave. Has to, has to, has to, has to.

Esther wants to kill her children, so she lets something she's kept under wraps out. Just a little.

"I know he's your child. But I hate Klaus." She confesses, the emotion is real, and convinces Esther Elena is on her side. She requests blood from one of her fingers, it'll be healed with magic, the witch assures her. They don't want evidence. Doppelganger blood helped create her children, it will help kill them too.

"Won't your life be so much simpler without vampires?" Esther asks.

"Yeah. It will be. No more being referred to as a blood bag or just a human after this. I'm always worried about making it to the next day when I'm around vampires. Your children are always trying to kill me, and if it's not them, it's another vampire. I have to pretend I like Elijah because he's the most likely to keep me safe. The two brothers who claim to be in love with me are so suffocating. I'm going to be free. Thank you." Her lip quivers, and she's let enough feelings out, the Original Witch smiles at her warmly. Elena shoves them back where they belong. The lies had almost physically pained her, but they were wrapped with partial truth. That was the worst part.

"Don't let my children suspect anything, especially Elijah. All of my children need to drink the champagne or this was all for nothing. They'll try to kill me, should they find out, and they will definitely kill you." The witch warns her. Elena nods, like she's been doing all night.

"Now, I won't keep you waiting, you have dancing to do, in that pretty dress, don't you?" The older woman asks and Elena nods.

"Thank you." She says, it's genuine. It's just not a thank you for what Esther thinks it is. She leaves the room to find Elijah.

* * *

"Don't drink the champagne." Elena tells him in code, after he asks if she's ready to dance again. She agrees, and she feels a little brave, finally. The dances have shifted, closer contact. Elijah's hand is on her waist as they dance. She tries to figure out the code to tell him to alert his siblings, so she improvises.

"Are all of your siblings here? They're undaggered?" She stresses the few words that are important as she has to take quick steps, only Elijah would notice. Everyone else will chalk it up to breathing. He replies, back in code, that they will kill his mother. She should go home, where it's safest for her. She fakes a yawn. He lets her go as the song ends, and she allows herself to be dragged away by the Salvatores, safely home.

* * *

 _She was brave,_ she thinks as she drifts off to sleep.


	8. Arya

AN: I'm going to do two Arya chapters. The quote this chapter is: "Fear cuts deeper than swords. _" Not mine, it's from ASOIAF and GRRM._

* * *

She has the same reaction to each Original. Elijah for all of his promises and word was still a vampire. A deadly killer.

* * *

She remembers how deadly vampires are every time she sees one. Not because of their actions, but she forces herself to remember. She will never be that. She doesn't want to ever make someone afraid of her. She reminds herself of their nature, what they do. It's too dangerous to forget.

* * *

It's been a few years since she was thrown into the supernatural world and she's seen a few battles. She's seen battles of killing the Original witch, and killing over territory, she's seen killing over morals. It's all death, in the end, and the blood still stains the ground. Bodies still litter the dirt until the sun comes, leaving swirling piles of ash when it finally does.

* * *

She's watching, from a distance with the Originals. She wonders why people do what they do in battle, but she remembers her old chant to herself. " _Fear cuts deeper than swords."_ A reminder and a warning.

It's true. Fear makes people do things they never would do otherwise. Elijah stops what she's sure will be a _fascinating_ speech on fear from Klaus. She's thankful for Elijah. He doesn't want to hear it either. They all know what fear does. They've all experienced it, despite their major differences.

* * *

She still is a little afraid, she's still reminding herself, everyday. _Fear cuts deeper than swords._ She sees people kill each other because of fear, there's no bigger killer. Except, perhaps, love. She doesn't let herself fall in love either. Love and fear walk hand in hand, and she doesn't want either in her life. Not right now. Maybe when it's safe, and she isn't so damn scared all the time. She blocks the doors and window with furniture at night, in the room she has in their house. She's sure they know this, but it's just in case. It'd take a few seconds and noise to deal with furniture, if someone really wanted to get to her.

* * *

They've killed for her, Elijah and Klaus mostly. Her hands fidgeted as they did, the times she watched. Fear. This is fear. As she hears cracking, she adds annoyance. It's also partially just annoyance, she thinks as she watch Klaus break a spine. It's horrifying, and she's only calm about it on the outside.

* * *

So many people were willing to die for her. So many people willing to kill for her. She chose to be with the Originals because they were only the latter. They treated her like part of their family, someone to be protected. Although that could just be her special blood, and the legally binding contracts she drew up with Elijah. Fear was there, even then.

* * *

She's forgotten what not being afraid is like. She forgets what it's like to not be suspicious, what it's like to not be paranoid. Comfort levels adjust, her fear does not. If any of them wanted to, she could be dead.

* * *

It's interesting, actually, for her to think about. She's more scared of humans. She knows what vampires can do, she lives with the first vampires, but humans are unpredictable. And they're supposed to be better. She sees wars as Kol flicks through channels. This is what fear does. This is what hate does, she reminds herself.

* * *

Humans aren't better. Everyone was just a mix of fear and death. Some released one part and not the other. They both had the same result. Fear cut deeper and harder than anything else.


	9. Arya II

AN:The quote this chapter is: "Every hurt is a lesson and every lesson makes you better." Not mine, it's from ASOIAF and GRRM.

 _ **Also, Angela you better not be pushing yourself. Focus on getting better and stay safe okay? Also I'll work on the coma fic tomorrow. Also, if you want some humor, Family Game Night by Wreckless Righter is pretty good.**_

* * *

She's the one who picks herself up. She's the one who bandages the wounds and has to feel them when she tries to sleep. She's the one who cares about herself the most. Which is why she doesn't understand Stefan and Damon. They claim to love her, so they kill for her. But they haven't shown her a fraction of the self love she has to show to keep herself together every day, and get herself out of bed and take care of her wounds. Not all physical, not all mental.

* * *

 _Every hurt is a lesson and every lesson makes you better_ , she reminds herself. She had seen it somewhere and written it down. It got stuck in her head most days. It usually came to mind as she took out her first aid kit. She has scars from dealing with the supernatural. One is on her neck, she physically can't stand knowing it's there. She has to cover it, she doesn't touch that side of her neck. She cheated death, almost. But life paid for life, and too many had paid for hers. She hated the reminder. As if she didn't have enough already. She scrubs at the scar when she can, she wants to wear it down to nothing. She's been told nothing helps but time, and that only helps certain hurts.

Not all. Some get worse, or stay the same with time.

* * *

But she tells herself what went wrong, what happened that time she got hurt so she'll avoid it. Or so she's stronger, more equipped to deal with it. _Every hurt is a lesson and every lesson makes you better._ The saying is right. Every time she gets hurt, she tries to learn from it. She wants to save herself and others hurt in the future. She gets better from pain, she likes to think. She's not sure if it's true, but she thinks it anyway. Each scar, each thing she's had to deal with-they're like lessons. Every lesson improves her, and she's a fast learner.


	10. Catelyn Stark

AN: The quote this chapter is: "One day she would allow herself to be less than strong. But not today. It could not be today." Not mine, it's from ASOIAF and GRRM.

* * *

It's enough to make her want to stay in bed, Alaric is dead because of her. Jenna is dead because of her. Isobel, John, her parents, it's too much. It threatens to pull her down, into a messy web of throughts and grief. She doesn't let it. It's so tempting to give into, right she gets up, she doesn't let herself be weak. Heightened emotions needed suppressing for the day. She has to assure people she's fine. There would be a day where she'd let herself cry and feel everything, but it won't be for a while. Because she knows she'll break, and she can't afford that right now. If she falls apart, lets it happen, then she won't be able to pick herself up for a while and that's unacceptable. She has to be strong.

One day she'd let herself break and stop being strong or maybe she's just pretending to, she can't even tell anymore-but it won't be for a while. _Strong_ , she thinks, as she faces the world. _I have to be strong._


	11. Daenerys Targaryen

The quote this chapter is: "Woman? is that meant to insult me? i would return the slap, if I took you for a man." Not mine, it's from ASOIAF and GRRM. Hey, sorry this one is kinda violent and went somewhere dark, like asoiaf. Which is odd, because I'm writing this in the bright and early morning. Sorry, angst warning and death ahead.

* * *

The sound seems to stop time for a second, and Elijah almost feels his eyes change, his fangs have come down, although his lips are pressed together, not revealing this to the other man or Elena. Her head hadn't moved with the movement, seconds earlier.

"Woman? Was that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man." Elena speaks before he can move, so Elijah stays where he is and lets her talk.

The man looks at her, and there's the tiniest hint of relief in his eyes that she isn't going to return the blow. The Original hasn't seen her like this in ages, she straightens her back. She's cold, but still herself. Had he not known better, he would have wondered about her emotions, but by the calculated, cold fury in her eyes, he knows they're still there.

"However," She trails off, looking at the man with those eyes, if Elijah could feel sympathy for him, he would have felt it then. He doesn't, not after he had stuck Elena. He wanted to hurt him, but Elena seemed to have her own plan for that, so he let her continue it.

"I don't like men who hit women." She says slowly, and before the man can run, her hand is in his chest, Elijah can hear ribs breaking underneath the man's screaming. His heart is out, and on the floor, and she gestures to Elijah that she'd like to borrow his handkerchief. He hands it over.


	12. Brienne of Tarth

The quote this chapter is: " _All my life men like you have sneered at me. And all my life I've been knocking men like you into the dust."_ Not mine, it's from ASOIAF and GRRM. Human! Elena, a few years after she leaves Mystic Falls. She decides she doesn't need supernatural strength, but wants to be strong physically.

* * *

He pushes her, and the anger under her breastbone explodes, it feels like the birth of a star. She pushes him back, hard. She does not let people push her around anymore. It has been literal years. She shrugs off her jacket, and the man catches sight of her very fit arms.

"All my life, men like you have said I couldn't be strong. And all my life I've been knocking men like you on their asses." She says slowly, her voice is low. There are people watching, her trainer is one of them. She doesn't fight unless provoked.

"Do you want to fight me? Or are you worried I'll embarrass you in all of these people?" She asks.

He's silent for a moment, and it's the only moment she thinks he might have a brain.

"You're just a girl. I can take you." He says, and she laughs. She corrects him.

"You're a few years late on your label. I'm a woman. A woman who's going to kick your ass." She says, and it's not bragging. It's fact.

* * *

She gives him five seconds before he moves his arm to swing. She hits him hard. He moves, the wrong direction and his nose breaks. She's not disgusted by the blood, she saw a lot when she was around vampires, and she hits his ribs as one of his hands flies to his broken nose. He tries to hit her too, and she avoids it easily. She takes the arm and twists it behind his back. She can't tell if he's screaming because of his nose or his arm, this large muscular man can't even match her. How pathetic. She tells him that he is, and he calls her a string of rude words. If she had a worse day, she'd ask if he wanted some teeth out, free of charge, but he's just a nasty person. She asks someone to get the resident nurse.

* * *

She's gone before the nurse arrives, duffel bag on her shoulder. She'll need to disinfect her bloody knuckles later, she washed them free of the man's blood but it never hurt to do so. She wonders if guys like that will ever learn. As she unlocks the door to her apartment, she decides, probably not.


	13. Belle French

The quote this chapter is: "I figured do the brave thing and bravery will follow." I do not own that, all rights go to Disney and Once Upon a Time.

* * *

He seems genuinely interested in when he asks why she does what she does. It'd be so so easy to play helpless and curl up in bed like she wants to do so many days. It's what forces her out of that, out of her bed and into a different mindset that he's interested in.

She doesn't offer a shy smile before answering, she just tells him.

"I figured that doing the right thing and the brave thing were the best thing to do and that bravery would follow if I made the right choices. So I try to do that. I have to be brave." She answers, and she can't read those dark and ancient eyes. She isn't sure if she wants to, or if he'd ever let her. If anything, he looks more intrigued by her answer.

* * *

This human is an interesting mystery to Elijah. He enjoys getting bits and pieces. He ignores the feeling in his chest that demands attention.

* * *

He sees it after she says it. She is constantly living by her mantra, and sometimes he thinks he can hear her mouthing the words before she does something. Before she shoves a stake in someone's chest to save her brother, he can see the words almost too fast to be read by anyone else.

* * *

Her lips know the taste and weight of the words by then.

* * *

At one point, he sees her kill for _him_ , and he doesn't see the words anymore. He wonders if she's internalized them by now, or perhaps if she's outgrown her words, if the words left her. She rubs her left arm absently.

* * *

He sees something on her skin. Ink, she must have covered her tattoo with makeup. It's her mantra, he discovers later.

* * *

It's a part of her.

* * *

It never left.

* * *

She touches it before she charges into a fight now, and he wonders if she knows she'd be brave, with or without the words.


	14. Emma Swan

The quote this chapter is: "People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, "No, this is who I am". You want people to look at you differently? Make them! You want to change things, you're gonna have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world." I do not own that, all rights go to Disney and Once Upon a Time.

* * *

She's in New Orleans for a visit, they're on a walk through the streets when she gets called Katherine. She freezes and and whirls around and says her name, slowly.

"I am Elena Gilbert. I am not Katherine." She says calmly. The man shrugs and mutters that they're the same person anyway, what difference did it make really.

He makes a note to get her dress to the dry cleaner's as soon as possible as she continues talking to the man and he calls her Katherine again. She breaks his nose.

The differences between the doppelgangers were stark to him, but they must appear that way to everyone else, he privately thinks.

He doesn't understand. She has to explain it, as he lends her his jacket to cover the drying blood.

"People have told me who I am and what I am all of my life, Elijah. I have to punch back, I have to fight everyone who doesn't see me, as a person. Calling me Katherine invalidates who I am, it says I don't matter and I know I do. So I make them look at me differently. Or," She pauses for a moment to think, looking at her feet as she walks.

"At least I try to do that. I'm trying to make a name for myself. I don't just want to be known as the latest doppelganger. I don't want to get attacked like I have so many times for the times Katherine has fucked up. I want people to feel about me however they want to, and know that they feel this way about me. Elena Gilbert. Not Katherine. Not Tatia. Not anyone else. I want people to see me when they look at me. No one else understands that." She says, looking at him, adjusting his suit jacket. He opens his mouth and she continues speaking.

"Sometimes I think you're the only one who can always tell the difference because you've spent time with all three of us." She says and her words give him pause.

* * *

"Perhaps." He says, as they walk, just a little longer.


End file.
